so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize