But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
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I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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