So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize