you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
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Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
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I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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