oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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