He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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