a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize