when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
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She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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