im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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