At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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