Texts From Last Night

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  (281): View more from Texas

  so now she's a stripper

  (1-281): View more from Texas

  can't say i'm surprised

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  (281): so now she's a stripper (1-281): can't say i'm surprised http://tfl.nu/r749
  Replies (7) Good night (2001) Bad night (433) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.

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  (717): took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college. http://tfl.nu/bhs0
  Replies (12) Good night (3720) Bad night (448) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..

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  (916): You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you.. http://tfl.nu/8fyi
  Replies (24) Good night (818) Bad night (9078) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.

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  (440): omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave. http://tfl.nu/dpnt
  Replies (24) Good night (8030) Bad night (1313) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face

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  (207): reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face http://tfl.nu/zdhw
  Replies (52) Good night (8549) Bad night (1176) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"

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  (360): Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?" http://tfl.nu/c0v9
  Replies (13) Good night (8768) Bad night (888) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.

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  (720): just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing. http://tfl.nu/182p
  Replies (8) Good night (4475) Bad night (1121) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.

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  (248): Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it. http://tfl.nu/bw3w
  Replies (9) Good night (3463) Bad night (1152) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back

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  (845): No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back http://tfl.nu/c7vm
  Replies (5) Good night (2039) Bad night (660) Order T-Shirt
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.

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  (269): Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward. http://tfl.nu/yk34
  Replies (12) Good night (1389) Bad night (988) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.

  (512): View more from Texas

  I won

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  (512): I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest. (512): I won http://tfl.nu/ojuf
  Replies (3) Good night (1000) Bad night (463)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"

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  (480): Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good" http://tfl.nu/cw6w
  Replies (6) Good night (1169) Bad night (716) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand

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  (412): Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand http://tfl.nu/54cj
  Replies (3) Good night (1135) Bad night (347) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.

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  (513): She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl. http://tfl.nu/kcuq
  Replies (5) Good night (1340) Bad night (310) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.

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  (630): I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide. http://tfl.nu/564g
  Replies (14) Good night (991) Bad night (615)

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