i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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