Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
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I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
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I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
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