While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
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just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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