oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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