i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize