Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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