absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize