I accidentally had phone sex last night
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize