I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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