haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
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As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
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Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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