nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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