11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize