So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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