...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
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I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
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Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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