I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
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he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
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After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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