Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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