if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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