a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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