there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
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I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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