I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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