She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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