I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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