my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize