Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize