Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
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