I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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