So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
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I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
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What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
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