First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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