I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
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After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
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Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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