D3 body, D1 cock
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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