Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize