He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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