but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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