U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Randomize