listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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