he wants to bone in the snuggie
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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