Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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