think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The air was thick with penises
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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