I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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